Alone With Everybody

Charles Bukowski

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

notebook

If you know me at all really then you probably know that I carry my "blackmannotebook" in my purse at all times. In this notebook I write down the most random bits of information on the most random pages. It's often useless because I can never find the page I wrote what I'm looking for. Anyways, the notebook is made from an album cover. I never really read the names of the songs from the unknown album but they are as follows:

Side One
Yankee Rose
Shyboy
I'm Easy
Ladies' Nite in Buffalo?
Goin Crazy!

Side Two
Tobacco Road
Elephant Gun
Big Trouble
Bump And Grind
That's Life

I believe that if one used the titles as inspiration to write a short story/novel it would to say the least be very entertaining.

The Sun Also Rises

"You're an expatriate. You've lost touch with the soil. You get precious. Fake European standards have ruined you. You drink yourself to death. You become obsessed by sex. You spend all your time talking, not working. You are an expatriate, see? You hang around cafés. "

NEW LIFE

Living in Park City these days. I suppose that life is way different than what I had in Massachusetts. I hardly ever work, only three mornings a week in exchange for rent and utilities compared to the 40 plus hours I was working at home. Since I have no bills (my parents still help me out with my cell phone and car insurance) I've been real picky about finding a job. Worked at a sandwich place on Main St here for a bit, but wasn't that fun so I just sort of stopped going. Still need to get over there to pick up a check. I have nothing to complain about other than having too many fun activities to distract me from working on my applications to Nurse Practitioner Programs. Tough life.

This quote just feels too appropriate.

"This has nothing to do with will-power; that's a crazy, useless word, anyway; you lack judgment--the judgment to decide at once when you know your imagination will play you false, given half a chance."

Spend way too much time day dreaming and not enough time in reality. While studying for GRE's I've learned a few words that describe exactly how I feel. Caprice. Not sure if its a good thing. Well I know it's not. Need to be more grounded for sure. More focused. Desultory is a another. Except I do have a plan, or at least I did. Apply to schools, get into one (UVM hopefully), go to school until I'm 27 and then live the rest of my life working three days a week, having fun the other four and going on plenty of vacations. Now my life is basically a vacation so it's been difficult to find the motivation to change it.

Anyways. Hennie just asked me to go to a rave tomorrow night.

Hello

I think my town is running low on money to plow the streets because I've noticed that the plows wait until there's at least 5 inches of snow to come into my neighborhood. Meaning that every time it snows my little car gets stuck. And I have important things to do today!